Mary Kay – Blossoming

I have been a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant for just shy of one month now.  Although life can bring me (and you) down sometimes, I am SO SO grateful to have Mary Kay and the people involved in it in my life.  It is hard to believe that in such a short amount of time that one person can blossom.  I have had a few people tell me I am blossoming.  This makes me happy.  While I am okay with myself, there is always room for improvement, especially in certain areas.  The main areas of my life that need nurturing are my self esteem and positivity.  Most of my life I have struggled with low self esteem and depression.  One just feeds off the other.  What is weird is I always considered myself a happy go-lucky person…until I realized I wasn’t.  That just put me into a deeper depression.  For years I bring myself out of a depression state by reminding myself that I need to focus on what good things I do have going for me.  I remember reading something a long time ago that stated that depression was just another word for being selfish.  That always stuck with me, and while I believe that to an extent, I also believe depression is a lot more than that.  Sure, while depressed you tend to think about yourself and your own woes.  But other variables can cause and perpetuate depression.

For the purpose of this post, I will just delve into how Mary Kay is changing my life (for the better).  Again, it is such a positive environment to be in.  They often call it a “pink bubble.”  The one thing I really love about this “bubble” is that the bubble can extend to other lives.  Mary Kay’s focus is to enrich lives, women’s lives.  One woman telling another woman that they like what they are wearing or that they are beautiful can be powerful things.  Especially to a person with low self esteem.  Really, any woman would like to be told they look beautiful.  In the three or so weeks I have been involved with Mary Kay, I have had numerous people lift me up without even knowing they are.  Several other Mary Kay consultants and directors have made kind comments regarding my makeup and how my skin is looking more and more flawless.  If only they knew me a few years ago with my face broken out in cystic acne.  Mary Kay changed my face too (Clear Proof).  Just the other day a little girl of one of my customers looked up at me and simply said “You are beautiful.”  I hardly knew how to react, I was shocked.  It warmed my heart so much that someone so little thought that of me.  It is not something I have heard a lot in my life, until recently.

I do feel that positivity breeds positivity.  Perhaps now that there has been an increase in positive words and “vibes” that life will just keep getting better and better.  I will state to anyone that I am a proud Mary Kay Consultant who helps to make women feel better about themselves.  You never know how your words will affect someone else.  Just imagine how the positive words you say to someone could change their life…words are truly powerful.

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Life

Today has been a trying day.  First, I forgot the time changed and we lost an hour.  Second, my normally adorable toddler decided to have his biggest tantrum yet!  It really caught me off guard since he is normally a pretty chill little dude.  I decided to take him to the shoe store since his shoes were looking ragged.  He did great there, yay!  Then we ventured over to a store that I normally try to avoid, but thought what the heck…worth a walk through and we really needed salt.  So, I load the little guy into the cart and we start walking towards the spices aisle…when low and behold an entire end-cap full of candy! Instantly, my son was wanting candy.  I told him no.  He then started to cry and I quickly grabbed the salt and took him to another section of the store.  He continued to cry and cry and yell “CANDY!!!”  I then said “Oh Lord!”  He was not showing any signs of simmering down, so I yelled at him and we proceeded to the front of the store.  He calmed down a bit and as I pulled up to the self-check out area…the crying began again.  Thanks evil marketing “geniuses” who place candy at the registers, that really helped the situation.  Sigh.  I held my ground and continued to say “no.”  We left the store.

On the way to the car my son decides to wail and “go limp” while we are walking.  Fun.  So, I pick him up and tote him to the car.  We must have been a sight.  He cried all the way home.  Upon our arrival home, my husband came out to the car and spanked him.  I had thought about spanking him, but didn’t really want to do it in public as he was wailing.   He then went to bed for his nap.

I am sure other mothers can relate to this situation as I know this happens more than we would like to admit.  I had a really hard time simmering down from this whole ordeal.  My husband then says I need to be firmer with him…I know I do, I have been working on it.  Ultimately, I ended up feeling like a failure as a Mom today.  Felt like I can’t live up to certain expectations.  I cried as I cracked hard boiled eggs and put them in a container.  I then proceeded to clean most of the kitchen.  Finally, I felt a tiny bit better.

Now, I am drinking another cup of coffee and trying to get my head on straight.  The following words popped into my head as I was typing…”God won’t give you more than you can handle.”  “You become a stronger mother and person with each struggle you go through.”  So, I am now choosing to move on from these low feelings and move on with life.  Tantrums will happen, tears will happen, life does go on.  Most, if not all people, have to make the effort to see the positive in things rather than continue to focus on life’s negatives.  One step at a time, one positive thought at a time.  You will get there and survive.